The Reaper – Don’t Stop The Blood

There’s a disclaimer on The Reaper’s official wesbite – “Don’t think of them as a novelty kids band. Appreciate them for what they are – An AWESOME METAL BAND!!!” Fair point, but lads – keep it to yourselves. ‘Cause the fact is, if this is the foundation, then the house is gonna be solid nuh fuck. Yep, the recording is dodgy (the kick drum sounds like a coke can opening), you’ve heard that guitar sound on every Metallica fan’s home recordings since ‘91 and Joey Kenney’s lyrics are perhaps wholly on the terrible side of good, but fuck it, they’re 13 fucking years old and they’re playing heavy fucking metal.

And it really is heavy metal, chugging half-time little nuggets of bile shot through with stable-marriage-rocking solos and horribly nicely placed feedback. ‘Life Is So Far Away’ is perhaps the killer, a winding shit storm of anger and depression that would make any mother groan impatiently. Kenny’s voice is at a really grating octave right now, let’s not beat around the bush. But it’s a damn fine one, and when it gets wherever it’s going, this band are gonna be heavy as fuck etc. And be fair, his lyrics are still better than anything Bullet For My Valentine ever wrote, and look what happened to them.

Actually don’t, cause they disappeared.

But if The Reaper keep moving at this pace, they’ll be mainlining with 3 children by 18, half of them dead at 23 and the other half retiring to salmon farms by 26. What a way to go. Sorry guys, I know you don’t want to be a novelty kids band, but the fact is that it is a novelty. It’s fucking awesome. When I was 13 I was figuring out the chords to ‘The Scientist’. You’re playing a Jackson in a four-piece. Fuck you.



(It would be  6 on music alone but it’s just too impressive!)